This video is not my typical sort of message, but there was something on my mind that I had to share. I just could not stay quiet as I think the Solution Focused community has a responsibility to spread hope in the current world.
I hope this video can be my small part of living up to this responsibility.
Thanks for their video Elliot and for making mention of our incredible country!
I echo what you say and have often wondered if a certain type of person/therapist is attracted to solution focused therapy or if solution focused therapy ‘metamorphosis-ises’ you into a solution focused therapist/person – I find that it’s probably a bit if both.
I found that coming back to work after the holidays i have missed looking for the strengths and exceptions and looking at solution rather than problem and I noticed too that surely this is possible to do all day at home and with all the people I come into contact with- I have always thought if my self as an optimist and a positive person, however like you all the negativity that surrounds people these days erodes positivity into synicism- however I have intentionally decided and experienced that the more I expose my self to positivity and ‘hopeful looking’ in work and home helps to ‘resist’ the negativity and provide an effective antidote to the poison that so often surrounds us.
One confirmation of this was a comment from my 9 year old son the day, when he said -“ Dad you know it’s so cool , you always find the bright side of things, I wanna do that too”
So thanks a mil for all the work you do and the reminders to practice this positive hopeful language-
And in the words of Star Wars – it’s an honor to be part of the resistance to the ‘dark side’ may the force of light continue to shine out of us!
Robert
Johannesberg
Hi Elliot,
I felt your tears and your blues, as I never have, as you talked about the sickening remark of this ‘leader’ and much of what he stands for. But there must be a place for negativity, and not talking about it will not make it go away. Indeed, you have talked about it, and movingly so. After all, negativity is hard-wired into us in terms of preparing us for the worst, e.g. predators, in our evolution; there’s no survival value in singing the praises of the attacking beast before, while or after it attacks you.
The trouble is is that evolutionary negativity is in overdrive in us, i.e. it is no longer needed to overcome the enemy as in days of yore. The overdrive manifests itself, for example, in the medium adage, “if it doesn’t bleed, it doesn’t lead”, which is what gets you and me down. And art makes much creative use of sadness and tragedy. So it has its place somewhere, but where, and when? How can we use it to healing ends?
One of the biggest challenges for us SFers is to deal with clients who are predominantly and insistently and persistently in negative mode. Any ideas? And do you think that it is only through language (Wittgenstein!) that an SF therapist can handle this matter? After all, the body minus the speech organs also speaks. A penny for your thoughts.
Jeff
Antwerp, Belgium
Hey Jeffrey, thanks for your comment. I agree that not talking about it doesn’t help, hence why I decided to share this video. Working with clients who are in a negative mode is challenging, until I realized it is not for me to judge their mode. It is my job just to ask them questions and see what happens. So yes, I think we can impact live with just language.
Hey Robert, thanks for your comment. I am very much like you. I find that when I am away from my work for too long I yearn to experience the hope of others.
I think it would be so helpful to individuals and the world if you would share your concern, passion and expertise and develop a solutions focused training programme for individuals who want to change the negativity in their everyday dealings: with work colleagues, staff, family and themselves. A questioning style that encourages and ellicits not just hopes, dreams and strengths but an appreciation for the life they have. Show us how to use solutions focused in those snippets of conversations we have everyday. A subtle form of pro-active conversation that is more natural rather than sounding as if you are in a formal therapeutic session.
What about a book for the (extra)ordinary person on how to use solutions focused to enjoy their lives and change the world, one relationship at a time?
Hey Ann, I love your idea for a book. I wish more people understood the overwhelming power of hope and resilience. The world would be such a better place.
This video was so beautiful!! As as chaplain, pastoral counselor and especially as a grief counselor, I pray to infuse hope and brightness into grieving clients without depriving them their needed time to mourn and grief their losses. If they do not grief and mourn fully a particular loss, it will manifest itself later in unexpected ways. I hope I can integrate SFBT effectively so those with a major loss can shorten the time of sadness and begin the process of re-joining living hopefully again.
Thank you Dina. I am so glad there are people like you doing the work that you do. I hope my materials help you use this approach in your setting.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Thanks, Elliott. This is what life is all about.
Thanks Becky (and Dan), I am glad you like it.
Nice. Encouraging for therapists and a great way to introduce clients to the Solution-focused philosophy and way of working.
I’m glad you think so Steve!
Beautifully stated. I think it can be helpful to realize the places of pain and lack people are coming from who view others as “less than” or the enemy. The challenge can be in seeing the exceptions in their lives also.
That is quite a challenge Patricia.