Elliott Connie
Founder/PresidentElliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution...
I had the most amazing experience speaking with Darryl McDaniels from Run DMC at the Hollywood and Mind event in Washington D.C. I wanted to highlight part of our conversation this week.
I legit just had one of the most amazing experiences of my career, and even my life. And that is I got to come to an event in Washington, D.C., and do an interview with a man named DMC. Now, DMC is one of the rappers associated with the group Run DMC. When I was a kid, huge fan. And now I’m even more of a huge fan of the person that Darryl, that’s his real name, represents. But during that interview, he said something really powerful.
He said that he was in a deep, dark place, and was abusing alcohol pretty significantly. And he checked himself into treatment. And I asked him, “How did you come out of that dark place?” This was an event about his mental health. “How did you come out of that dark place?” And he said his therapist said something interesting.
It’s always fascinating to me when like non Solution Focused Brief Therapy people turn out to have a very strong inclination towards Solution Focused Brief Therapy. Darrell’s not a psychotherapist. He’s never studied Solution Focused Brief Therapy in his life. But this phenomenon happens, that I’m about to tell you, that is probably the most Solution Focused thing I’ve ever seen.
He said he went to talk to his therapist. And his therapist said, “Have you noticed that so many of the lyrics you’re famous for start with the two word phrase ‘I am’?” And Darrell was like, “Whoa.”
And he said he went back and listened to his records. And it’s true, it’s real. One of his most famous lines is, “I’m the king of rock.” And he just started. While we were on the stage, he started reciting all these lyrics that start with the two word phrase ‘I am.”
We had a conversation about how, like, you can literally create your future just by envisioning the way you want it to look.
Elliott: If you say ‘I am.’ to something, your brain does not know the difference between reality, and fantasy, can’t tell. Which is why simulations work, because your brain can’t tell. So when you say ‘I am.’, your brain goes, “Okay, I’ll be that.” So when people come to my office, they will often say things like, “I am depressed.” And you just hold your brain to go, “Okay, I’ll be that.” So when you say something very bold and very powerful, you say, “I am.” Pick one of the “I am.”‘s.
Darryl: The King of Rock. That shit happened.
Elliott: Your brain goes, “Okay, then let’s go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.” And it just happens.
And he said, “When I said those things, I wasn’t the King of Rock, but I wanted to be. So I said,
“I’m the king of rock, there is none higher.
Sucker MCs should call me sire.”
And he was literally talking himself into this future where he ultimately became the King of Rock. And him and his bandmates made it to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And he had this amazing career.
And I was like, man, that’s what Solution Focused Brief Therapy is. Literally doing a description of a future you want to live in, even before you get there, so that you can become a different and better version of yourself. A version of yourself that’s more in line with achieving your hopes and dreams, rather than staying in your struggle.
It was honestly one of the most surreal experiences I ever had in my life. And Darryl and I are going to do some work together. So stay tuned. We got other things that we’re going to be working on. So it won’t be the last you hear of us. It won’t be the last that you hear of Darryl and I showing up together and all those things.
But I want you to understand that Solution Focused Brief Therapy, it’s really about just describing people in an ‘I am.’ way, even though they might not be exactly that yet. But that’s the point. If you can talk in a way where it’s like “I am.”, and your brain and your body and your spirit and your soul believes it’s, then you’re going to go off and create it.
Now he said, I am the king of Rock. Imagine if all our clients said, I am happy, I am strong, I am sober, I am loved, I am loving, I am compassionate. All those things, then lives would change very quickly. But that gets exactly to what Solution Focused Brief Therapy is.
Thank you.
Elliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution focused approach to help them move their lives from the current problems towards their desired futures. As well as being the Founder and President of The Solution Focused Universe, he is recognized around the world speaking at national and international conferences and events throughout the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, South Africa, Russia, Switzerland, England, Poland, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, Holland, Canada, and Asia training practitioners to apply solution focused questions and techniques in their work. He has authored or co-authored 4 books including “The Art of Solution Focused Therapy”, ‘Solution Building in Couples Therapy”, ‘The Solution Focused Marriage’, and ‘Solution-Focused Brief Therapy with Clients Managing Trauma’.
