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The way I learned it was hard. The way I learned it is kind of a way that I don’t want anybody to have to go through, and that’s through living in a home where there was abuse and terror and difficulty.

And I learned that if I could talk to myself differently, then my reality would change. So while I was going through this really hard time, I would ask myself questions like, “What is the other side of this going to look like? How do I know I can get through this?” And by asking myself those questions, I was putting hope in my brain.

I didn’t know it at the time, but this would play a significant role in the work I would later do in my life as I became a psychotherapist. And I learned that the questions other people ask themselves dictate the reality that they experience.

I remember one day working with a client, and they had a loss, massive grief. They lost a child. What had happened was a truck driver was driving down the road and had fallen asleep at the wheel, an 18 wheeler truck driver, and had smashed head on into the car and killed everyone instantly that was in that vehicle.

They came to therapy, and they were remarkable. The father and mother came to therapy, and I asked them how they’re getting through this. I saw them a few months after this accident, and I asked them how you’re getting through this. And the father told me this story. He said, when they lost their son, over the next few days, people from the church were coming to their home and bringing food and bringing booklets and pamphlets and trying to be helpful.

And he said one day, he was sitting on the couch, his wife was laying across his lap, falling asleep, and he didn’t want to move to disrupt her. So he grabbed one of these pamphlets, and just starts reading it. And as he was reading this pamphlet, it said, 95% of couples who experience the loss of a child get divorced within a year. And he read that, and he was so excited, he shook his wife, and he said, “Wake up. Wake up.” And he said, 5% of couples that go through this, make it. What do we need to do to make sure we are in that 5%?
You see, this is an example of the kinds of questions you ask yourself playing a significant role in your reality. They actually came to my office four or five years later to thank me for helping them get through a difficult time.

But, they probably impacted me even more than I impacted them, because it was another example, of that lesson I learned as a young child, playing a role in my clinical work. And I watched this couple. The questions they asked themselves contributed to their ability to stay together in a very difficult circumstance. I remember thinking, how many people would see that 5% and ask themselves that kind of question? But that’s what it takes.

Now, I got with my colleague, Dr. Adam Froerer, and we decided to write a book that would teach people how to ask themselves the kinds of questions that would transform their lives, and help them to create the kind of reality that they would be excited about, experience joy and fulfillment.

We wrote a book called “Change Your Questions, Change Your Future”. In this book, we put everything you need to know about how to ask yourselves the kind of questions that will transform your lives and help you to achieve your greatness, help you to achieve the kind of life that you would once only have dreamt about. And all you have to do is get the book now.