Elliott Connie
Founder/PresidentElliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution...
You Heard Right, this is Officially the LAST time I will answer this question in SFBT Moments, and it\’s important that I do because this question is one of the most distracting questions you can have in your mind when doing good therapy. Let\’s wrap this once and for all.
Every single day, more than 100 people emailing me, asking me questions about how to use Solution Focused Brief Therapy. They ask me about the approach. They ask me about clients they\’re working with. They ask me about books to read, tips and techniques. They ask me all kinds of questions. And I love it. I\’m so honored to be in this position, and I\’m so thankful that so many people are interested in the work that I do, and interested in the kind of ways that I do Solution Focused Brief Therapy.
But! There is one question, more than any other that drives me nuts. I do not understand the nature of this question. And the nature of this question tells me that people are misunderstanding what we\’re doing as Solution Focused Brief Therapists, and what we\’re doing as therapists themselves.
And today I want to talk to you about what that question is, because I want to make this video so that no one ever asks this question again, because it doesn\’t make any sense.
And the question starts with, \”Does Solution Focused Brief Therapy work with…?\”
Most of the time, that is the way people contact me. Does Solution Focused Brief Therapy work with… clients who have depression, or anxiety? Does it work with kids or adults? Does it work with autism? People ask me all kinds of things and I want to share something with you that is really, really helpful, and I hope it eradicates this. I want to shift your thinking to address this question so you never wonder about it again.
Now, recently I got into a car accident, and my car was damaged. I took my car to the mechanic. The mechanic did what he did to fix the vehicle. When I got the vehicle back, I was so grateful. Hey man, thank you so much for fixing the car. And I drove away.
I didn\’t ever think, \”Does that hammer work on my car? Does that wrench work on my car?\” You don\’t think that because the tool isn\’t the thing that fixed my car. The person was.
Solution Focused Brief Therapy is just your tool. It\’s the hammer, it\’s the screwdriver, it\’s the wrench. You are the person that works.
So when you actually ask questions like, \”Does Solution Focused Brief Therapy work with…?\” And you talk about a problem or topic or kind of client, what you\’re actually focused on is the tool.
It\’s just as silly as saying, does the hammer work on a Mercedes versus a BMW versus a Honda versus a Toyota? Whatever.
It\’s you. You have to work. I can tell you 100% of the time, the approach works when you are confident that it works. And it doesn\’t when you\’re not. And the big mistake that people make is they start trying to work with a client, while not being confident. The client doesn\’t achieve the outcome that they want. And then you think, \”Oh, the approach didn\’t work.\” But it wasn\’t the approach, it was you. Your low confidence impacted the outcome negatively. It\’s not the tool, it is you. It wasn\’t a tool that fixed my car, it was the mechanic. It\’s not the tool that helps your clients to improve their lives. It\’s the professional. It is you.
So don\’t ask anymore, \”Does this approach work with [insert client type or problem]?
Start asking, \”How do I build my confidence so that the approach will work with… [whatever problem you\’re focused on, or whatever client type you\’re working on]?
That\’s how you think about this work. Once you understand that, you\’ll never ask this question again and your outcomes with clients will go through the roof.
Elliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution focused approach to help them move their lives from the current problems towards their desired futures. As well as being the Founder and President of The Solution Focused Universe, he is recognized around the world speaking at national and international conferences and events throughout the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, South Africa, Russia, Switzerland, England, Poland, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, Holland, Canada, and Asia training practitioners to apply solution focused questions and techniques in their work. He has authored or co-authored 4 books including “The Art of Solution Focused Therapy”, ‘Solution Building in Couples Therapy”, ‘The Solution Focused Marriage’, and ‘Solution-Focused Brief Therapy with Clients Managing Trauma’.
