NUANCE is Important When Talking About Solution Focused Brief Therapy

So if you’ve been following for a while, then you know that I’ve been taking my health much more seriously in the past couple of years, and even more so in the past few months.

And I was just talking to a buddy of mine. His name is Jason, and he is also someone who’s taken his health more seriously. He had a massive health scare a couple of years ago, and he’s really working hard, losing weight, getting more fit. It’s gotten super important to him.

And we were just talking about the journeys that we’re on, and he said something that made me think about Solution Focused Brief Therapy, and a really important lesson that I’m trying to teach all of you.

Now, my biggest pet peeve, literally the thing I hate most, is when I tell people that I only do Solution Focused Brief Therapy, and people say, “There’s no one size fits all.” Or they say, “You can’t use one approach with every client.” And I’m always like, “Of course you can.” It is ridiculous to think otherwise.

Number one, it’s not like I do the exact same thing in every session, because I think in that case you’d be correct. If I were trying to do the exact same thing in every session, then of course it would not work.

But number two, there are some principles that are highly effective to all people. So, for example, talking to Jason, he’s lost a lot of weight and he’s getting pretty close to his target. And I said, so what are you doing? He told me, “I’m eating better, changed my diet in these ways.” And then he said, “And I’m exercising every single day.” And he’s walking a ton.

So I was like, all right, that’s amazing. And we just had this conversation. Then he started saying some really interesting things. He said, “I’ve given up onions and garlic.”

Now, I’ve heard people on fitness journeys giving up ice cream, cake, french fries, fast food. I’ve never heard anybody say, “I’ve given up onions and garlic.” So I said, “Jason, why have you given up onions and garlic?” And he said, “Because I’ve realized whenever I eat onions, I retain more water. Whenever I eat garlic, I retain more water. So I’ve cut those out of my diet and I’m continuing to lose weight at a faster rate.”

It’s interesting because when I heard that, it just made me think about nuance. Now, when I tell people I do Solution Focused Brief Therapy in every single session, you should not hear that as me saying, I do every thing the exact same way with every client.

Now, my buddy Jason, he has signed up for an exercise program, a fitness program. Some guru in the fitness world is running this program. And Jason is following this program to the letter. Jason is following this program to the T, but with nuance. And he’s being coached through these nuances by this person. So is this person doing the same exact principles with every single client that signs up for his fitness program? Absolutely. But are there nuances amongst different people? Yes. Do you guys see what I’m saying?

So this idea, “You can’t use the same thing with every client.” That is an archaic idea that is a holdover from the medical model, which basically says we have to do some work to match our intervention with the client problem, and we have to find the interventions that are best researched with each problem. But now we know the thing that leads client to client change is actually the relationship between the clinician and the client.

And specifically, does your client like you and believe that you believe in them? The approach you use is simply a vehicle in which for you to establish a relationship and communicate to your client that “I believe in you.” That’s it.

So this idea that we have to match what we’re doing, like a clinical intervention with a client problem, that is outdated, and there’s no research to support that that works. But that’s why we think this. And that’s why people yell at me on social media and they yell at me when I’m doing trainings. “You can’t do the same thing with every client.” Why not?

I’m applying the same principles because they’re principles that matter to me, that I think lead people to change. Of course I can, and you can, too.

That’s exactly what is happening with my buddy Jason. He signed up for this guy who’s got this fitness program, and he’s got this diet and nutrition and all these things. The principles guide the process. But each person has certain nuanced things. There are people in his program that can have all the onions they want because their bodies don’t retain water. They can eat all the garlic they want because their bodies don’t retain water. Jason has had to nuance it with help from this coach.

So I hope this helps and hope this gets rid of this stupid idea that you can’t utilize the same thing with each client because you guys are thinking too surface level. I’m not doing the exact same thing robotically in every session with every client. I’m being guided by the same ideas and and principles. But in each and every session, it’s nuanced.