I don’t think I’ve ever begged you, and today, I’m begging you to stop comparing yourself to other therapists in the way they do their work and the outcomes in their practice.

When I got started, I was sharing a suite. We had each our own office, but we shared the whole suite with a woman named Gina. And Gina was an amazing psychotherapist. In fact, is an amazing psychotherapist, she’s still practicing. She did therapy very differently than me, and her practice grew faster than mine. And I remember being bothered by that. I remember being almost triggered by that. Like, I want to be like Gina. I want to have the outcomes that Gina is having. I want to have the practice that Gina is building. But I remembered, like, I can’t be Gina. I can only be Elliott.

So my goal is to be the best Elliott I can be. And, man, it has completely transformed my life. I’m living a life right now that I literally can’t believe. And back then, I couldn’t have dreamt of it. But the way I got here was by being myself and understanding, Gina’s gonna be Gina, and all these other people are gonna be them. I’ve gotta figure out who Elliott is, and I’ve gotta run my own race.

I’m gonna get to where I get at the pace in which I get there, however it happens. And there are people looking at me thinking, Elliott went faster than me. So I’m looking at Gina like I didn’t go as fast as Gina. Don’t do that.

Just be you. Run your own race. Discover who you are as a therapist and who you are as a person and show up that way.

Me doing that literally transformed my life and put me in a professional and business situation that I could not have dreamt about. And I know the key to it was authenticity, both as a person and the way I show up, but also understanding that my authentic journey is mine.

I shouldn’t compare myself to Gina or anyone else. I just have to be myself.

These days, I’m doing things that many people in my field couldn’t dream of themselves doing. I’m in spaces and places that Gina is not. I love Gina. Close friend of mine. I’ve known her for years and years and years, and she’s doing things with her life that she’s very pleased about. But this is my life, and you gotta focus on your life.

Too often, we get distracted by what other people are doing. We get distracted by the comparisons between us and other people.

And that distracts us from our goals. You gotta stay focused, stay locked in, and be your authentic self.

That’s how you win.