Elliott Connie
Founder/PresidentElliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution...
We just wrapped up our final coaching call (of 2025) for The Solution Focused Universe, and we had a great conversation about what to do when you’re stuck in a solution focused session. Here are two things I want you to remember.
We just wrapped up our final monthly coaching call for my online Solution Focused Brief Therapy training community called ‘The SFU’, and we had a conversation that I wanted to share with you that I think anybody interested in Solution Focused Brief Therapy could benefit from hearing. One of the participants in the group was asking, “How do you stick to Solution Focused Brief Therapy when you’re working with a client and are stuck?”
We all have a tendency to want to revert back to something else when we’re stuck. And that’s because as human beings we crave comfort. So we want to go do something that we feel comfortable and safe doing, when maybe doing Solution Focused Brief Therapy is uncomfortable. Maybe you’re new to it, or something like that.
So there are two things I want to share that were highlighted in this conversation.
The first one comes from my very good friends at BRIEF in London. And they used to have a rule, probably still have this rule, but when they started doing Solution Focused Brief Therapy in 1989, I believe, very long time ago, they would challenge themselves.
They were originally trained as family therapists and they were working in the NHS before they created the world changing organization known as BRIEF. They wanted to learn a different way of doing therapy. It’s a longer story, but just to be brief about it, they wanted to learn a different way of doing therapy and they chose Solution Focused Brief Therapy.
And they asked themselves, “What do we do when we get stuck?” And what they decided is every time we get stuck, we’re going to ask ourselves the question, “What would I do if the only thing I knew how to practice was Solution Focused Brief Therapy?”
So that’s what I would say. When you’re stuck in a session, ask yourself that questiaon. It’s such an important question that highlights this approach. “What would I do if the only thing I knew how to practice was Solution Focused Brief Therapy?”
So that’s number one.
The second thing that I would highlight about this is you. In order to practice this approach, you have to really believe the most effective thing you can do to help someone create change in their life, and specifically a desirable change in their life, the most effective thing you can do is ask them a question that is related to their resources and their ability to use those resources to create a new experience in the future. It requires that.
If you believe the best thing you do is psychoeducation. If you believe that you have to get to the root of the core problem. If you believe those things, then it’s going to be very hard for you to practice Solution Focused Brief Therapy, because this is an approach that requires you to ask questions, and the kinds of questions that lead towards the desired outcome that your client is hoping to achieve.
So in your core, you must believe that that is the best way to move forward. If you do not believe that, then practicing this way of working is going to be difficult for you. But if you do believe it, then obviously when you get stuck, you can be thinking, “What’s the next question?”
Because I want you guys to do what’s most effective, not what feels the most comfortable. And I want you to get better at asking yourself in those moments you’re stuck in session, “What would I do if the only thing I knew how to practice was Solution Focused Brief Therapy?” — Shout out to BRIEF.
Elliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution focused approach to help them move their lives from the current problems towards their desired futures. As well as being the Founder and President of The Solution Focused Universe, he is recognized around the world speaking at national and international conferences and events throughout the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, South Africa, Russia, Switzerland, England, Poland, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, Holland, Canada, and Asia training practitioners to apply solution focused questions and techniques in their work. He has authored or co-authored 4 books including “The Art of Solution Focused Therapy”, ‘Solution Building in Couples Therapy”, ‘The Solution Focused Marriage’, and ‘Solution-Focused Brief Therapy with Clients Managing Trauma’.
