Elliott Connie
Founder/PresidentElliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution...
What actually creates change in therapy? Let’s explore why powerful therapeutic questions should do more than gather information.
This week Elliott and I are here in Niagara-on-the-Lake meeting at SolutionFest with clinicians from around the world. And earlier today we were having a conversation that I think is important and we wanted to make sure that we share it with you too.
We were talking about how change happens in Solution Focused Brief Therapy, and why some people get better, and maybe other people don’t. And particularly we were talking about the role that we have as clinicians in order to help that change process occur. And we found ourselves talking about this idea that I think is really important, which is the idea of serendipity.
Serendipity is this idea of an unusual thing that occurs, but it’s also kind of a part of provocative thing. It’s something that catches our attention. And I think we as Solution Focused Brief Therapists need to introduce a bit of serendipity into our work. The questions that we ask should be questions that catch our clients off guard.
Now I’m not saying that you should ask questions that are absurd or outlandish. What I mean is we should ask our clients questions that push beyond their current state of thinking. And we do this, particularly at the very beginning, by asking about “What are your best hopes?”
They don’t come into therapy thinking, “Oh, I’m going to go in and talk about everything I’m hopeful for.” — They come in thinking, “I’m going to talk about problem.” — So when we shift them to think about their desired outcome, it catches them off guard.
So we have to catch them off guard a bit. But that’s only one part of it.
The other part of this ‘creating a bit of serendipity’, is that there’s gotta be an emotional experience, it’s gotta be emotionally charging, so that it catches their attention, it shifts their focus to something they want to talk about.
When we put those two things together, the unexpected, with also an emotional charge, then we have captured their attention, and we’ve captured their brain to start focusing on this, to start thinking about it, to start pondering it. That’s what creates this initial change.
And then finally when we add ‘meaning making’ to it, when we add questions that are substantial, that ask them to bring their identity into this unusual thing that they weren’t expecting to talk about…
Now they are creating long term impact, long term change, because they’re saying, “If I tag this as an emotional experience, my brain is going to remember it. And then when I add meaning to it, it’s going to last longer because I want it to.”
And so I think we can’t just come in and be lackadaisical about our questions. We have to really bring something to this process that’s going to create change, and serendipity is one of the ways that we can do that.
Elliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution focused approach to help them move their lives from the current problems towards their desired futures. As well as being the Founder and President of The Solution Focused Universe, he is recognized around the world speaking at national and international conferences and events throughout the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, South Africa, Russia, Switzerland, England, Poland, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, Holland, Canada, and Asia training practitioners to apply solution focused questions and techniques in their work. He has authored or co-authored 4 books including “The Art of Solution Focused Therapy”, ‘Solution Building in Couples Therapy”, ‘The Solution Focused Marriage’, and ‘Solution-Focused Brief Therapy with Clients Managing Trauma’.
