Elliott Connie
Founder/PresidentElliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution...
Most therapists are trained to believe we need more models, more certifications, more techniques. DBT. CBT. EMDR. Another workbook. Another framework. But therapy isn’t about matching a client to a modality. Let’s dive into what really matters.
Practicing Solution Focused Brief Therapy can be a big, massive challenge. I am here in Syracuse, New York. I just did a training in a place called Oweigo, New York, to this organization that gracefully brought me here and helped them do Solution Focused Brief Therapy work.
When I walked into the training room, there were two women talking about how excited they were because they just purchased a DBT workbook. I was like, “Oh, no. They’re not gonna love Solution Focused Brief Therapy. It couldn’t be more different than DBT in the way you have to think.”
And I realized, the biggest shift you have to make to practice Solution Focused Brief Therapy, that I think most people struggle with, is you genuinely have to think differently.
In the beginning of my career, I would think about that as, you have to be more optimistic, and more hopeful in believing in people.
And I now actually don’t believe that that’s necessarily true. Well, I do think you have to believe in people. But I think the big part of the shift you have to understand to do Solution Focused Brief Therapy is you have to understand, to me, this is like the crux of the work, you have to understand that therapy is not about matching the client, or their problem, or their personality, to whatever kind of treatment modality you’re going to use.
Therapy is about you inspiring someone in a way that would motivate them to create changes in their life.
So many therapists have bought into the idea that I’ve got to learn DBT, CBT, Adlerian, and all these things so that if my client doesn’t fit with whatever I’m doing, I can change, and do something else.
That’s not what therapy is about.
Therapy is about you being you, and finding a therapeutic language that you can use in session, naturally that will flow from you, and that will lead to the client to create change in their life.
And you have to be able to believe in your client, even when they’re struggling.
You have to be able to believe that you’re really doing good work, even when it seems like it doesn’t.
Somebody asked me, “Have I ever worked with a client who couldn’t get there?” And I said, “No.” Now, some clients, it takes a little longer than others, but, if you ask a client a question and they struggle to answer it, and you understand that to mean, “Oh, this is not a good fit for them.”, and you switch what you’re doing, you’re going to always have inconsistent results with your clients.
But if you realize, “Oh, some clients just take a little longer, and I’m just going to keep doing what I know how to do, in a really high way.”, then the client’s going to eventually change.
Elliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution focused approach to help them move their lives from the current problems towards their desired futures. As well as being the Founder and President of The Solution Focused Universe, he is recognized around the world speaking at national and international conferences and events throughout the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, South Africa, Russia, Switzerland, England, Poland, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, Holland, Canada, and Asia training practitioners to apply solution focused questions and techniques in their work. He has authored or co-authored 4 books including “The Art of Solution Focused Therapy”, ‘Solution Building in Couples Therapy”, ‘The Solution Focused Marriage’, and ‘Solution-Focused Brief Therapy with Clients Managing Trauma’.
