Elliott Connie
Founder/PresidentElliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution...
When you’re using Solution Focused Brief Therapy, there’s a very important (yet difficult) thing you have to do as a clinician. Let’s dive into it.
When you’re using Solution Focused Brief Therapy, there’s a very important thing that you have to do, and it’s hard. It’s hard because it’s not something that we were overtly taught to do. It’s not something we were trained to do as clinicians and or professionals, but it’s incredibly important. In fact, if you do not do this, your work with Solution Focused Brief Therapy will forever be a challenge, and forever be hard.
And that is, you have to learn how to speak to your client’s potential, and not to the actual client who’s sitting in front of you.
Now, let me be clear on what I mean when I say that. Clients will come into your office, and they’re not very hopeful, and they’ve often had a challenge that made them focus on their flaws, far more than they focus on the things that are good about them.
Here’s an example. When I was an undergrad, I had a professor, her name was Dr. Marilyn Pugh, who just believed in me. She believed in me so much that she talked to me very differently about my future than I believed in myself. And she would say stuff like, “Where do you want to go to grad school?” And I’m like, “I’m a C student. Why would you even ask me this?”
She’s the first one to tell me that she thought I’d be a good psychotherapist, and thought I should go into that career. So much so that when I was studying to get my bachelor’s degree and realized there weren’t a whole lot of jobs for just a bachelor’s degree in psychology, I learned about a license called a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor, an LCDC.
But it basically, it would allow me to do therapy, but only in the world of addiction. I could work as a clinician, but only in the world of addiction. And I went to her and I was like, I’m really excited. I’m going to get this license to allow me to work with people who struggle with addictions. And, by the way, you can take the exam for that license with just a bachelor’s degree, you don’t need to go to grad school.
And Dr. Pugh said, “No, that’s too limiting for you. You need to go to graduate school and get a license that would allow you to see all clients, including people who struggle with addictions. And that’s called an LPC, a Licensed Professional Counselor.” And I mean, I just didn’t believe in myself, but she was talking to my potential.
One of the best moments of my life was when I graduated with my master’s degree and went to Dr. Pugh. And I was like, “Look. Look what I got.” I’ll never forget. I close my eyes and see it. She had this look on her face that was proud, but unsurprised. Very much like, I’m proud of you, but I knew it the whole time.
The greatest gift you can give your client is the gift of expectancy. Meaning, I believe so much in your potential, that I expect you to achieve it. I just believe in you.
Can you practice therapy while believing in your clients, even in the presence of a significant problem? That is the real question. And when you can answer that question with a “Yes.”, then you have mastery of Solution Focused Brief Therapy.
Elliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution focused approach to help them move their lives from the current problems towards their desired futures. As well as being the Founder and President of The Solution Focused Universe, he is recognized around the world speaking at national and international conferences and events throughout the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, South Africa, Russia, Switzerland, England, Poland, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, Holland, Canada, and Asia training practitioners to apply solution focused questions and techniques in their work. He has authored or co-authored 4 books including “The Art of Solution Focused Therapy”, ‘Solution Building in Couples Therapy”, ‘The Solution Focused Marriage’, and ‘Solution-Focused Brief Therapy with Clients Managing Trauma’.
