Elliott Connie
Founder/PresidentElliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution...
Every time I return to Massachusetts, I make sure to stop in at the Taco Bell (now Chipotle) that saved my life.
Here’s a lesson I think we can learn as SFBT Clinicians about hope and envisioning the future.
So I’m back in my hometown of Franklin, Massachusetts. And if you followed me for a while, you know my story. When I lived here, I had a really, really difficult experience, mostly with my father and the abuse I experienced in my home. And it made me really, really depressed, anxious and then ultimately suicidal. And at that time of my life, in the shopping plaza where I’m sitting in the parking lot now, they were building a Taco Bell. This is going to sound silly and again, if you’ve been following me, you’ve heard me say this before, but that Taco Bell said, “Under Construction. Coming Soon. Taco Bell.”
And I remember like being emotional as I drove by the shopping plaza thinking I’m not going to live to see that Taco Bell completed, and I’m not going to eat at that Taco Bell. Ultimately I moved away, was able to address the concerns that were putting my life in peril at the time. And now every time I come back here, I go eat at that Taco Bell.
That was 30 years ago. Over time, that Taco Bell is no longer there. There’s now a Chipotle. But I still continue the same exact habit. Sometimes I would go to the Taco Bell and I’d order tacos, other times I’d just get a glass of water. But literally I would go here just to celebrate life.
I think the key to Solution Focused Brief Therapy is, in a lot of ways, Solution Focused Brief Therapy sessions, it’s a celebration of life, and it’s a celebration of your client’s ability to thrive and succeed amongst whatever challenges are bothering them. And when I do this ritual, it’s a celebration of life.
So now I want you all to come with me because I’m going to go to the Chipotle and make my “I’m still alive!” celebratory order.
Beyond just getting further insight into my life, and knowing that that really personal journey really happened, you might be thinking, “What’s the clinical value of watching Elliott place an order at Chipotle?”
If you had been my therapist 30 years ago, and I came into your office as a 19 year old kid and, and you asked and I told you, “I’m really sad. I’m thinking about my life being over. I’m not going to live long enough to watch that Taco Bell be completed.” And you ask me, “Suppose you live long enough for that Taco Bell to be completed, what might you order?” That forces my brain to envision a future where I have lived long enough to see the Taco Bell being completed.
In a weird way, I was doing Solution Focused Brief Therapy on myself when I was 19 years old. And I really genuinely think that saved my life.
I didn’t know what Solution Focused Brief Therapy was at the time, but I was so sad by seeing that, that I would dream about, “What would I get if I live long enough to see it completed?” And it turns out I did. I lived long enough to see it completed. And now every single time I’m back in my hometown, I go eat at what is now Chipotle. I go order something at what was is now this Chipotle, to celebrate that I made it.
That is the power of Solution Focused Brief Therapy. And I want you thinking about that every single time you’re thinking, “How does this approach work?” Or, “How does talking about the future help?”
Now you know exactly how it helps.
Elliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution focused approach to help them move their lives from the current problems towards their desired futures. As well as being the Founder and President of The Solution Focused Universe, he is recognized around the world speaking at national and international conferences and events throughout the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, South Africa, Russia, Switzerland, England, Poland, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, Holland, Canada, and Asia training practitioners to apply solution focused questions and techniques in their work. He has authored or co-authored 4 books including “The Art of Solution Focused Therapy”, ‘Solution Building in Couples Therapy”, ‘The Solution Focused Marriage’, and ‘Solution-Focused Brief Therapy with Clients Managing Trauma’.
