Elliott Connie
Founder/PresidentElliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution...
SFBT is an approach that natively focuses on our Client\’s Desired Outcome, so it doesn\’t surprise me when people get confused that we\’re not focused on the \”Problem\”. Let me break down why focusing on the Desired Outcome actually triggers change in clients more efficiently than problem fishing.
Practicing Solution Focused Brief Therapy can be very, very tricky. And it\’s not that this approach is complicated. It\’s not that this approach is inherently challenging or difficult. Even though any kind of therapy is hard, any kind of therapy presents its challenges. Anytime you\’re working with someone, it should be hard work. But what makes this approach so challenging is we are so conditioned to think in a problem solving way that when you are asked to think in a different way, it\’s actually really challenging.
So when you\’re practicing Solution Focused Brief Therapy, it\’s really not about the solution. It\’s not about, \”Oh, I got to focus on the solution.\” What you\’ve got to learn how to do is focus on an outcome. So instead of thinking about, here\’s a client that came into therapy with depression, anxiety, addiction, relationship issues, whatever it is — and instead of thinking, okay, I have to identify the issues and then come up with strategies that help solve the issues, you\’ve got to think in a very different way.
Traditional therapy, just traditional human thinking. That\’s what it\’s in line with. I\’ve got to think about the problem so I can interfere with the problem through some sort of an intervention. So, for example, if you are struggling with addiction, then let\’s spend some time identifying your triggers to the addiction and then remove the triggers from your life.
So, for example, I like to drink. Oh, so what are the triggers to drinking? Every time I go to a family function, it turns into a big blow up and I get triggered to drink. Excellent. So how do we remove the triggers of you going to a family function, so thus you\’re not triggered to drink. That\’s like normal therapy. That probably makes a ton of sense to all of you guys out there, and it\’s very in line with human thinking.
However, Solution Focused Brief Therapy practices in a very different way. We ask people to think about an outcome and not necessarily a problem. So if somebody comes to therapy with whatever problem they drink too much, like the example I just used, or depression, anxiety, anything, and they come to therapy and I say, \”What are your best hopes from our talking?\” So instead of spending time analyzing what the triggers are, what the problems are, what the symptoms are, we\’re going to ask, what is the outcome you were hoping to achieve?
In the same example, that person might say, I want to be sober. And instead of talking about the triggers to the addiction, we\’re going to talk about what would your life look like if you achieved the level of sobriety that you\’d be happy to have? And Then they start describing, I\’d be a better dad, husband, wife, whatever it is, better mom, better employee, I\’d be healthier, live my life better, all the things.
And that actually leads towards change more efficiently, more consistently. And it sticks. Now, oftentimes people say you can use Solution Focused Brief Therapy with clients who are the worried well, or it\’s a Band-Aid approach. It doesn\’t achieve long term aim or help people with deep seated issues. That\’s actually not true. There\’s research that says it\’s actually not true. You can absolutely use Solution Focused Brief Therapy to address all the serious issues just by changing your thinking in the way that I just said.
Now I said all of that. I explained that difference because there\’s something that is developing in my work, in the work of my colleague, good buddy, Dr. Adam Froerer, about the way that we teach people how to have a focus on a desired outcome because it\’s so different from what we\’re conditioned to do and conditioned to think about, A, as clinicians, and B, just as people, that people have a challenged time doing it.
And they always ask me questions like \”How do you use this approach with _____?\” And then list the problem how to use this approach with an autistic child whose parents are always fighting So they always say, \”How do you use this approach with _____?\” And then they throw in all these level of complications.
And the answer is always the same. We ask the person what outcome they\’d like to achieve. Then we have a conversation about the differences it would make in their life to achieve that outcome, and have that become their lived experience, and their lived reality. That is always the same.
But underneath that question, what you\’re actually asking is, how do I stick to an outcome in a challenging situation? How do I stick to an outcome when things seem insurmountable? And the answer is very, very simple.
And that is \”with discipline\”.
Now, what is developing… Adam and I have been teaching this together for a really long time, literally almost 20 years. And the other day we were teaching to a group of people in Iran and we realized one of the things you have to do when you\’re using Solution Focused Brief Therapy is assume nobility.
So what I mean by nobility is we often assume nobility towards the hero figures in our lives. One of my favorite heroes is the Marvel series, I love the Marvel series. So if you watch Captain America, or Iron man, or whoever, you watch them in a fight, you assume that they\’re on the side of justice, they\’re on the side of Right. They\’re fighting for a noble cause.
But oftentimes in therapy, we don\’t assume justice, we actually assume nefarious. A lot of the questions people ask me, they start with, \”What about a client who\’s only there because their wife made them come?\” \”What about a client who\’s only there because their parents dragged them to therapy?\” \”What about a client who doesn\’t want to be there?\” Those are the questions people ask me. And the issue you\’re having, the reason why it\’s hard for you or tricky to stick to an outcome, is because you are assuming nefarious instead of assuming nobility. Every single client has come into our office for a good reason, and we have to assume that the outcome that they want to achieve is an outcome of nobleness.
Now, they might say something like, I\’d like to get clean and sober. And we oftentimes think, well, you\’re only saying that because your probation officer caught you. But no, no, no, that might be the initiator to the issue. That might be the initiator to the change, but they still have a noble desire to achieve that.
In 2024, I went and visited my doctor and got scary news. Again, I say this all the time. Not horribly crazy, not something I can\’t reverse if I take it seriously, not anything like that. But I did get scary news from my doctor. And since then, I\’ve significantly changed the way I live my life. I\’ve changed my level of activity daily. I\’ve changed the kind of foods that I eat. I\’ve changed the type of liquids that I consume. I\’ve changed kind of everything about the way I do and live life.
Why am I doing that? Because I want to live. I want to make an impact and a difference on this world. I want to survive. I want to thrive. I want to be the best version of Elliott that I want to be. But what was the thing that initiated that, the visit with the doctor? Well, actually, it\’s not 100% true. Before I went to see the doctor, I was making some changes before that. And then I decided, before I make some significant changes, I\’m going to see the doctor. And what he told me was so frightening that it really impacted. I mean, it took everything. I was probably making changes on a level one, and after that, it was a level nine on a scale of zero to ten. I really ratcheted it up.
So you could say you\’re only making those changes because the doctor yelled at you. Well, that\’s accurate. But that doesn\’t mean I don\’t have a noble desire. That doesn\’t mean I don\’t have a noble outcome for what I\’m trying to achieve.
So always when you\’re working with a client, always assume that there\’s nobleness to the desire that they have for change, regardless of the problem and regardless of the reason that they came to therapy.
That\’s gonna help you develop a Solution Focused mindset. It\’s gonna help you stay within a Solution Focused mindset in all of the work you do with your clients.
So good luck, carry on, and stay focused on outcome.
Elliott Connie, MA, LPC is a Psychotherapist that practices in Arlington, Texas. He has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and families applying the solution focused approach to help them move their lives from the current problems towards their desired futures. As well as being the Founder and President of The Solution Focused Universe, he is recognized around the world speaking at national and international conferences and events throughout the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, South Africa, Russia, Switzerland, England, Poland, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, Holland, Canada, and Asia training practitioners to apply solution focused questions and techniques in their work. He has authored or co-authored 4 books including “The Art of Solution Focused Therapy”, ‘Solution Building in Couples Therapy”, ‘The Solution Focused Marriage’, and ‘Solution-Focused Brief Therapy with Clients Managing Trauma’.
