The next phase of what we’re going to talk about, kind of shifts us back instead of looking to the future, right. And saying, what do we want, what do we want the future to look like? And we’ll come back to that and we’ll detail it in a bit more detail. But as we wonder, where are we going to make this shift, that’s going feel like a 180 shift and we’re going to, and we’re going to shift from looking into the future to looking into the past.
And we did this a little bit when we started and we said, what do you want from 2021? What do you want to bring with you into 2022? But we’re going to transition a bit and we’re gonna shift to what we call, we’re going to go back to the diamond, and we’re gonna talk about the history of the success, right? And this might seem a little counter-intuitive at the beginning, right? It might seem like we’re saying no matter what you want in the future, you’ve had bits of it in the past, right? And some of you might be thinking, but I’ve never had it. And that’s why I want it. I want something in the future because I haven’t had it yet.
And one of the things and Elliott talks about this a lot is one of the things that he talks about is, when, whenever we want something, we have to at least had a taste of it before. Maybe not all of it, but we have to have at least a bite or a taste of it, right? I can’t, if somebody were to ask me, what do you want for dinner tonight? I’m not going to think of things, or I’m not going to come up with things unless I’ve had exposure to that before. That doesn’t mean necessarily that I have to have eaten it, but I have to have been exposed to it.
I have to maybe have seen other people eat it, or I must have had heard people talk about it, or I must have eaten it myself before, right? If I haven’t had some experience with it, I can’t know that I want it. So in some sense, I can’t crave something I haven’t had. I haven’t tasted before.
What was it like to spend some time going through a bit of your history of when you first realized what it was that you wanted to accomplish? Always never enough time, Way too short in all caps. Yeah, Becky said it more polite. She didn’t use the caps. That’s how I describe Adam way too short in all caps. I can’t let that go by. I’m sitting over here, not on camera. I can not let that go by. I just want to point out that I am above the worldwide average for men.
Just so you know, short is relative and I’m above average. Okay. You know, probably the most important lesson that I’ve learned as a professional practicing and teaching Solution Focused Brief Therapy is how important your history is. Your history is where you demonstrated that you are truly a champion capable of accomplishing anything with unbelievable resources and potential. And I think for somehow, like we started thinking about Solution Focused Brief Therapy is an approach.
It’s only about the future and that’s bullshit. That’s entirely not true because where you come from, it matters. Even if you come from a difficult place, because the fact that you got out of it is the evidence that you are capable of your wildest dreams. You know, when I entered into this field and I can remember telling some of my colleagues that I wanted to open a private practice and they told me it is impossible.
Like no one is opening a private practice. I opened a private practice in the fall of 2008. That’s when I first opened a private practice. And you guys remember the fall of 2008 that’s when the economy crashed and everybody was telling me like, you can’t do it. You can’t do it. Can’t do it. But I remember thinking I have absolutely no fear because I got out of my childhood without an addiction,
without the desire to abuse women, without all of the statistics I was supposed to be. And it like train my brain to not fear failure. And one of the reasons why Adam had you do that exercise is cause we want to train our brains to not leave our past behind. We need to go back and collect all the bits of goodness and carry them into the future and whatever it is you’re in pursuit of your history of like,
thinking about that and knowing it’s possible is important because the first step to accomplishing anything is believing that it is possible. So we’re towards the end of an event that we do called Purpose. We do this every year, every January. One of the things you can do to really like invigorate your life and, and really live in your, in your spirit and get energized and excited about the things you’re doing is to find your purpose.
So I hope that you enjoyed this blog because it’s really a message that I want you guys to carry with you. I’m here with my colleagues, Dr. Adam Froerer and Cecil Walker. So I want you to say just one thing you think is important about people living in their, in their purpose and why you think this matters. I think one of the things that’s really important about people living within their purpose is that it actually then influences every decision that they get to make.
Right? Then they have the decision of is this within line with my purpose, or is this outside of my purpose? So it’s not just some lofty dream, but it becomes something that impacts every single decision of every single day, which then helps us to live, not just within our purpose, but to live purposefully. Living in your purpose and living purposefully
to me, sounds like living with full intention and doing everything that you do with regards towards where you’re trying to go and who you’re trying to be. And when you do that fully intentionally, it has no choice, but to be something of really, really high quality, I think. If you build a house very purposefully and very intentionally, you can’t point to a structure and say,
why is that there? I have no clue. I think if you built a really, really good house with purpose and with intention, you know why every single thing is there and you know why you did every single thing that you did. Awesome.
So one of the things I want you guys to do is please subscribe to my YouTube channel, head on over to my website www.elliottconnie.com, where I have loads of free Solution Focused training material. Find me on social media, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @elliottspeaks, and do not forget to live in 2022 with your Purpose. See you in the next video.